A Beginners Guide to Raising a Happy Family
When we set out to start a family we typically picture a happy family life with strong family relationships. It’s what everyone longs for. And then the reality of parenthood hits. Add work stress, debt problems, lack of sleep, teething, tantrums, kids who don’t listen, … and more to this, and we find ourselves defeated because the beautiful family life we pictured remains nowhere to be seen. Or is it?
What if it would only take a few adjustments to build that strong, happy family we dreamed of? What if there were people in our corner who helped us to take steps in the right direction while they cheer us on?
When my husband and I adopted our son, we were so thankful and excited to become parents that even on the hardest days the gratitude we felt helped us through. And while our sweet boy had some health challenges, he honestly was an easy baby and toddler. Like many new parents though, we were pretty convinced we were just doing this parenting thing “right”.
Along came our daughter and our world was pretty much turned upside down on the day she learned to crawl. Our sweet baby turned into a force of nature more powerful than many little kids we knew. And trust me, between two educators, we knew a bunch of kids! We needed some major help!
I completely dove into learning and problem solving meaning, I read all the books and blogs, took several courses, worked with psychologists, and dove into personal development. I was determined to learn, grow, and become the parent my children deserved to save my mental sanity, and raise a happy family!
Our family is not perfect, but it is perfect for us! We are close, we are real, and we are raw. We are not scared to feel and our kids are growing and thriving. That is really all I can ask for.
Raising a strong, happy family is absolutely possible, no matter what is happening in the world around us! Can you tell I am passionate about this? I hope so!
What is raising a happy healthy family like ?
Applying positive parenting techniques is an amazingly successful path to raising a happy family with strong relationships! Parents who use this approach commit to more sensitive, responsive, and consistent interactions with their kids. The kids in turn tend to be happier and more optimistic. Sounds like a win-win, doesn’t it?
The best part yet? Well, when our children feel heard and understood they are actually more likely to listen to us, their parents. So not only are we as parents less stressed, because our children listen better, but our family is also closer and more connected.
Now, raising a healthy, happy family using positive parenting strategies does not mean you parent permissively and kids get to do whatever they want. Not at all!
However, parents who use positive parenting techniques are willing to understand and coach their children while maintaining boundaries. They discipline calmly, with love and natural consequences rather than punitive measures.
How to get started with positive parenting
It is never too late to begin parenting more positively! So no matter if you just had your first baby, or you are about to pull your hair out because of all the power struggles and screaming matches you are dealing with on the daily, you can always get started!
All it will really take is making a decision! With determination and your willingness to learn something new to shift your parenting patterns, you’ll be on your way to a more peaceful home with strong family relationships. Your kids will enjoy spending time with you and your days will get easier. Even holidays like Thanksgiving or Christmas and vacations could be a breeze!
Tips for Success
- Approach this journey as a marathon and not a race! Changing your parenting approach will not happen in a week. The outcome will last you and your kids a lifetime though, so keep that in mind!
- Give yourself a LOT of grace! This applies especially if you have been parenting for a while. We are literally changing how our brain is wired and that will take a little while. Some situations will have us doing a happy dance afterwards, and others will leave us feeling defeated and like a failure. Both are part of the growth process. Remind yourself that it’s ok!
- Be willing to learn and try new things more than once! Again, if your kids are a little older, your new way to react may throw them off and they may even push a little more to see if you will revert to your old behavior patterns.
- Take care of yourself! The calmer you are in general, the easier it will be to stay calm when your kids are not. This will take an effort on your part to be proactive in managing your stress, health, sleep, etc. You are worth being taken care of so you can be your best self!
- Know that it’s alright for you not to do all the things! Less is often more. Learn to clearly define your values and focus on these areas. Trust me, the world will be OK! It is actually quite liberating to do this.
Common Questions / FAQs About Positive Parenting
- What are traits of a healthy family?
- In a healthy family all family members communicate clearly with each other and they also feel heard. This family has a strong bond. People spend time together and have healthy boundaries at the same time. Healthy families love unconditionally and they handle stress with calm intention.
- How do you build a strong, healthy family?
- Strong bonds in a healthy family are established by both communicating and actively listening to each other while using “I” instead of “You” when talking to each other. To form strong bonds, families spend quality time together, share their thoughts and feelings regularly, and avoid yelling. Using positive parenting techniques goes along with all of these.
- What are the benefits of positive parenting?
- Positive parenting results in strong parent- child relationships with overall better communication than we observe in other parenting styles. With that also comes, that positive parenting is known to reduce negative behavior! How amazing is that! And better yet, children raised this way generally have great self-esteem and are happy. This truly is a win-win all around and will get you to the healthy family you desire!
- What is an example of positive parenting?
- One example of positive parenting is to be intentional to praise a child’s good behavior. If your child shows kindness and empathy to someone else, point out what a kind heart she has. If she shares a toy, thank her for her generosity. This strategy is also called positive reinforcement and helps give your child attention for what she’s done right, rather than wrong. When rules are broken, take time to explain to your child how to make a better choice next time instead of simply sending her to time-out.
- How do I handle big emotions?
- Doing your best to stay calm in the storm and regulate yourself is key to raising a happy, healthy family. While we can’t really control our children (and to raise healthy adults we really don’t want to), we can definitely control our actions. If we can learn to stay calm when our buttons get pushed we will achieve the family life we desire. This is the hardest part and takes the most work! In the end though, we get to model the same strategies we want our children to use when their buttons get pushed. So learning to self-regulate and modeling it to our children definitely creates a win-win situation.
- What are some positive parenting books you recommend? (This post contains affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive a small Amazon Associate commission, at no extra cost to you. All opinions remain my own!)
What You Want To Remember
Raising a healthy, happy family starts with us as parents and the parenting style we choose to use! You may be very familiar with an authoritarian parenting style, because that’s how you were parented. Maybe you have even fallen into a fairly permissive parenting style, simply because you want your kids to have a “better” childhood than you had. Both of these parenting styles are not likely to result in a family that has healthy and strong relationships.
The good news? It’s never too late to switch things up!
- Positive parenting is a proven path to raising a healthy family.
- Every parent will be able to learn this technique.
- All it takes is commitment and consistency from parents to create the home life we desire.